In Order Of Stupidity...?

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping. (Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???.....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks %26amp; Spencer Bread Pudding - "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????....)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness..." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

In Order Of Stupidity...?

hahaha omg that was hilarious

thanx for the laugh xD

and here's a star

In Order Of Stupidity...?

LOL!!!!!!!!! This is so true! and very funny! Star worthy joke!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

I wish I had seen the last one sooner. Now my husband and I won't be able to have any more children....

In Order Of Stupidity...?

i loveyou this brightened my day!!!!!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

Liked the warnings. Loved your comments!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

OMG LOL! STARRR!!!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

on a matress: Do NOT attempt to swallow.

:P

In Order Of Stupidity...?

lol

hilarious

i loved it!!!!

keep it up

In Order Of Stupidity...?

not all of them were funny so how about u go back on the internet and find some different ones.

p.s. kiss ***

In Order Of Stupidity...?

LIke it!!!!!!! :)

In Order Of Stupidity...?

HAHAhhahah your comments made them even funnier!! Love the Christmas lights and Superman one! Your comments on all of them are hilarious! And I love nana4dakids's answer!! haha *starred*

In Order Of Stupidity...?

lol..thats so funny

specially the last 2..they made me laugh hard..

In Order Of Stupidity...?

cool

In Order Of Stupidity...?

Very good!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

omg funny I use a chainsaw at work never thought about stopping it like that lmao

thanks for sharing star for you

In Order Of Stupidity...?

Haha loved these!

The superman one was great. There was this kid at my primary school who broke his leg attempting to fly - he jumped of a garage that luckily for him wasn't very high (he wasn't the smartest person i've ever known), i don't think he was wearing the costume though so that might be why he didn't know about the warning!

In Order Of Stupidity...?

I once got some prescription suppositories from the pharmacy. The label said "Take orally"!

True story.

In Order Of Stupidity...?

those labels can really come in hand when....oh lets face it, whoever needs to read instructions on a pakcet of nuts has issues...unless they are bored....like i do....WHEN IM BORED.

In Order Of Stupidity...?

very good

Creepy dream???

Last night I had the creepiest dream ever. I was babysitting these 2 twins, about 3 years old. One boy, one girl. They both had blonde curly hair and were super cute and giggly. They got dirty so I decided to give them a bath. I filled the bath tub and put them in it and the boy was splashing around having fun but the girl kept trying to go under the water to drown herself. The boy thought it was hilarious. I kept pulling her back up and she just kept going under.. then her eyes turned completely white (no pupils or anything) and she just started smiling really creepy. The boy kept laughing, and then his eyes turned white too and they were both smiling (creepy). I ran out of the room and they both chased after me. I ran into the kitchen and locked the door and they were outside pounding on it trying to get in. They werent even human anymore. It was super weird.. can anyone explain it?

Creepy dream???

I agree with everything that redneck girl said, plus I would add that you must also face down the fears within yourself.

All of us who have been raised by a father %26amp; mother or in close association with men %26amp; women throughout our childhood pick up certain characteristics of those we admire %26amp; we blend them into our own personalities. This occurs naturally, we often don't realize that this has happened.

In your dream you became afraid of the children. They represent both the male %26amp; female traits within you that work in harmony with each other. They represent your inner child as Redneck said and your need to embrace them.

Do not run from the innate %26amp; integral sides of yourself, your nature. Embrace them, accept them %26amp; learn not to fear them.

They are an important part of what makes you the unique %26amp; special person that you are.

Creepy dream???

I cant explain your dream, but I will say thats some creepy stuff. What did you eat before you went to bed? Are you pregnant or something?

Creepy dream???

To see someone drowning in your dream, suggests that you are becoming too deeply involved in something that is beyond your control. Alternatively, it represents a sense of loss in your own identity. You are unable to differentiate who you are anymore.

To dream that you are babysitting, suggests that you need to care for the child within yourself.

Maybe this helps a little:))

Creepy dream???

You have ben watching 'horror' movies again on dvd or TV.cut this out and these dreams will stop!!

Creepy dream???

I don't have an explanation, but wow that WAS a creepy dream!

Did you watch a horror movie or read a scary book before going to sleep?

Creepy dream???

hmm...

babysitting in a dream usually refers to taking care of the child within you.

The baby girl could have been your inner child.

And the boy could have been the evil conscience.

and drowning refers to overwhelmed emotions and just too much too handle so you just drown and let it all go. The boy was laughing (teasing) the girl and she didn't know what to do but drown and let her emotions go.

So maybe you have too much on your mind and there is someone that is just making it worse for you and keep reminding you of these overwhelmed emotions you have. All you got to do is ignore this person or whatever it is and take control of your emotions.

Creepy dream???

According to Dreamcrowd:

To see a baby carriage in your dream, symbolizes your desire for a family or longing for a baby. If the baby carriage is empty, then it indicates sadness or an unfulfilled goal. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to cater to the needs of your own inner child.

Try posting your dream on Dreamcrowd for a free interpretation.

Bet you didn't know this?

Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus?

It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is responsible for giving people a crappy outlook on life.

If you don't believe it, try to pull a hair from your butt and see if

it doesn't bring a tear to your eye

Bet you didn't know this?

I had my suspicions about that one (thanks for the laugh)

Bet you didn't know this?

Hahaha! THat's great!

Nice 1! Thumbs-up!

Bet you didn't know this?

lol....thats fabulous! he he

:O)

閳?br>Bet you didn't know this?

yeah sure

Bet you didn't know this?

lmfao

Bet you didn't know this?

Come to me! Come to me

and let me pull your hair.

Then I will find it out.

Don't you have anything to do other than pulling those hair?

Do you want to have fun then visit my page:http://360.yahoo.com/nihon94

Bet you didn't know this?

lol

Bet you didn't know this?

If that were true, shoudn't you cry every time you take a crap? The immense suffering that my butt endures would push me to tears every time.

Bet you didn't know this?

oooh so original.not!

Bet you didn't know this?

LOL

that is nice to know LOL

Bet you didn't know this?

lol

Bet you didn't know this?

no thanks!! don't you have better research to do?!!!

Bet you didn't know this?

hahahhahaha

hilarious...

thanks for ur information...

though it may hurt a little...

:)

Bet you didn't know this?

thats just sick but ******* funny too

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

Lessons Of Life Through The Years.

I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".

Age 6

I've learned that you can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Age 7

I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.

Age 9

I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up.

Age 13

I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.

Age 14

I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.

Age 15

I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.

Age 24

I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.

Age 26

I've learned that wherever I go, the worlds worst drivers have followed me there.

Age 29

I've learned...that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 39

I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't knowhow to show it.

Age 41

I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his need to cast blame on others.

Age 46

I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.

Age 47

I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.

Age 49

I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.

Age 50

I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy

day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

Age 52

I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.

Age 52

I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after

they die.

Age 53

I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.

Age 58

I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, try to improve your marriage.

Age 61

I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

Age 62

I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands, you need to be

able to throw something back.

Age 64

I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs

of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.

Age 65

I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.

Age 66

I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.

Age 72

I've learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I've seen several.

Age 73

I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

Age 82

I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch--holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

Age 85

I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Age 92

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

That is wonderful, I enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing... God bless****

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

閳?This made me smile! I'm so tired and dont feel good and I'm here at work, so thank you for making me smile! :-)

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

wow amazing ^^ and i've just learned that some ppl are really worth it =)

enjoy life! all the best and thnx for sharing :P

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

Thanks, it is wonderful..

Hello all... Just a little something to jumpstart your day!?

I thank you so very much for your insightful words of wisdom, it shall be a gift that i treasure for the remainder of my life !! Once again, thank you !!!!

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

The Unauthorized Biography of a Fruit Fly

This story was inspired by a smear of green I cleaned off my wall.

All life has a beginning.

The fruit fly has a rapid life cycle. He lives, he craps, he dies.

This is the story of Chester.

Chester had a very fortunate beginning. If he were Human it would be quite ill-fated, but, being a fruit fly鈥e was very lucky.

Chester was an egg at first, and he was an egg inside of a dumpster on a busy city street. (The dumpster was outside of a Long John Silver鈥檚 restaurant, but that has nothing to do with this story)

Infancy of a fly

Chester quickly changed from egg to larva inside of this fortifying trash bin and was very healthy. He had many other larvas around him, and all were growing and maturing nicely鈥hen several got taken away.

Thoughtless travel

Chester wasn鈥檛 attached to the outside of the metal bin, so he got picked up and put inside of the garbage truck鈥here his adventure truly begins.

??a toddler fly鈥aybe

Chester morphed into his next stage of life鈥?he was inside of a cocoon during this fateful trip. Unbeknownst to him, his Hefty bag fell of the truck,

A stray dog chewed into his bag,

And he was reattached onto matted, bloody hair on the back of a dog,

Ran through a suburban neighborhood (on the back of the dog)

And eventually scratched off, and thrown鈥︹€?

The fly as a teenager鈥?

Lucky Chester landed just as he was becoming a young fruit fly, took wing and flew. He flew into a garage door, up some steps and found a table to swarm around and feed off of. (Didn鈥檛 I tell you he was a lucky fly?)

At the table there were 3 kids eating breakfast.

They were eating waffles and syrup, which Chester found the sweet syrup sticky and delicious.

He found dirty diapers in a trash can, very delicious indeed, and he realized he was growing into an adult fly very quickly.

The anxieties of being an adult fruit fly

Te heavy breakfast and lunch were making Chester feel fat and lazy.

Seeing a bright light shining trough a window, Chester flew over to inspect the view, and maybe take a little break.

RIP Chester

That is when it happened鈥e was squished with a newspaper.

And that was Chester鈥檚 unfortunate ending鈥 cleaned his remains off my wall.

-Donna

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

Wow, nice work. Such an interesting story. Amazing how you came up with the plot. ^_^. I like it.

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

If you changed the graphic details a bit it would make a really cute children's book!!!

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

U defintely smoke, huh?

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

That...was PROFOUND. ;)

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

cute, lol.

Will you read this little story and tell me what you think?

I wonder how you came by the idea for such a... unique story. Crit: one or two minor type-os, but other than that I found the story refreshingly brutal and different from the flowery writing that is all too common.

Does anyone know what book this is from?

"I looked for love in all the right places and found absolutely nothing, absolutely no one. I gave up and sat on the front steps of an indulgent summer, while it was inside doing shots of whiskey, with it's hair cut off as figuratively short as mine. I came inside and someone called for chasers. It rode with me, all the way to the gas station, where a stranger asked for gas money and they made polite conversation. I still wonder if that man was ever graced by human courtest, enough, to get his car down the road. I am only seventeen and I refuse to lie, pretending to know everything. Life is so strange. Love is so strange. And they only make sense in all the wrong places."

Does anyone know what book this is from?

No sorry, I have never read it before. I read a lot and it sounds OK, so let us know if you find out.

Could the mirena be causing problems?

Hi there, I've had my mirena for two years. It was implanted after a major operation to remove an endometrial cyst the size of a human head, because they wanted to stop my very heavy periods and the severe endometriosis I have. Ever since I had the mirena I look slightly bloated all the time, and my skin and hair are just horrible! I have spots (never ever had them as a teen, and I never looked after my skin), I feel greasy, and I seem to gain weight much easier. Also, I have started bleeding after a 1 1/2 years of no periods. It's not constant, just off and on, but to no pattern, just random bleeding.

Has anyone else had these problems?

Could the mirena be causing problems?

Yes, the Mirena can cause irregular bleeding, skin, and hair problems. You may want to have the IUD removed. Discuss your options with your doctor.

Could the mirena be causing problems?

Ask your doctor...

Best wishes.

Could the mirena be causing problems?

I have only had my Mirena for over a year but haven't had any issues with it so far. I finally stopped having periods. I love it and wish I had gotten it sooner.

Could the mirena be causing problems?

Yes it can cause problems. Better off asking your doctor. I had one recently for heavy periods but in your case periods should not be heavy now or have random bleeding. The only possibility is that its become looses and needs to be checked regularly.